Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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