I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize