Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize