Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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