nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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