Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
