I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
