I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
