he wants to bone in the snuggie
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
