My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
