Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
