before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
