So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
