Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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