What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
