True but thats because hes a fetus.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
