Have you finally orgasmed yet?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize