she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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