Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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