i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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