i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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