Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
