Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
how does that bad decision feel?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
