Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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