My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
