we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
