Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't turn off my feet"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
