u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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