she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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