At least make sure they are 18
Why
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
