I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
