What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
