he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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