I don't remember. Are we still dating?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize