cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
