she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
