he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
