So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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