It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
