I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
