so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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