i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He felt like a one man threesome
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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