just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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