I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
