meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
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