do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
