We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
