winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
