he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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