I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
should my penis look like a turkey
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
