Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
