Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
