A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
