im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize