WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
