yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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