I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
