What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
