Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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