you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
