so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
