the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
